Sunday, May 3, 2009

A Brand New Day

I know I’ll be ok
Currently Listening: Taking Chances by Celine Dion (Don’t judge)
Current Distracting Decision: Old South Formal

Ooooo I feel so loved. It’s my college birthday and my friends have been so wonderful all day. In addition to that, last night was my formal and my date was spectacular.

First: my date. I’m being careful to not over-romanticize things. Because really, that would never work. We would never work. So know this: I’m not over-romanticizing it. But he was so great. I don’t think I’ve ever been treated like that. I used to be turned off by nice boys. I don’t know whether it’s my maturity or getting a dose of the exact opposite, but I think I like nice boys now. Which will probably significantly reduce my unhappiness in later relationships. I look forward to that.

Not looking forward to: Going home. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to be stress free and have endless chill sessions with Marth. Ah, just typing that gets me really excited about it. But I’m leaving Jewell, and before I say this, I know how pathetic it sounds ok? But I am so much more in love with my friends here than I ever was at home. I lived there for 15 years and I wasn’t able to form the kinds of friendships I have already established here. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I was not a very quality person, so I attracted other less-than-quality people.

Kevin talked today about how we perceive God. A lot of people perceive Him as someone who fixes our shit because He totally owes us. I definitely get frustrated with God when He doesn’t fix the things in my life that I think He should.

I don’t like to write about things unless I’ve got them all thought out. When I’ve got the final answer, then I’ll write about it. But with my perception of God, I don’t have a final solution. I’m still working on that one.

But I think that’s ok.